Sigh. Ok, just. Ok. I can't even say it.
Last night. I found....I hate everything...a bed bug in my bed.
Yeah, remember when I thought they were gone forever after I almost went completely crazy trying to get rid of them? I woke up around 4am because something was itching on my hand and I saw there was a bite. "No please no," I thought. I turned on the lamp and looked around and there, UNDER MY PILLOW LIKE SOME KIND OF TOOTH FAIRY NIGHTMARE, was the goddamn bug. I killed it a lot. Then, I cried a lot.
Now if you'll remember, I did everything I could to get rid of these ass holes the first time around. I spent almost $1000 cleaning, fumigating, and refurnishing my room. Apparently, it was not enough. So, here's my game plan for Round 2: The Final Showdown.
1.) I called Melissa last night and pathetically relayed the horrible news to her, and she graciously let me sleep on her sofabed. With her permission, I will continue to crash there until the following steps occur.
2.) Charlotte, the newest crusade member in this life or death battle, called the building's exterminator this morning who will be coming on Thursday morning at 8am to "assess and destroy".
3.) He has ordered us to do a thorough cleaning of all rooms and surfaces (luckily, I am a master of this) and has advised us to obtain mattress slipcovers. I ordered mine online at 9:15 this morning, along with 2 impenetrable pillow cases.
4.) I have purchased online at Best Buy for same-day in-store pickup, one (1) upright Eureka vacuum cleaner with detatchable brushes for upholstery and a special nozzle for corners and hard to reach places. The 12-amp device will be used to suck any and all matter out of the rugs and hardwood floors.
5.) I will be dismantling and discarding my wooden loft bed because I have to assume that they are hiding out in one of the many crevices created by the intersecting planks. This is what they do. They bastard their way into your life and hide in the most inconvenient place they can find. Luckily, I kept my metal bed frame.
6.) I will be discarding all sheets and blankets associated with my bed. I don't even want to wash them. I want them gone from my life. I will be purchasing new sheets and blankets once my mattress cover has arrived.
7.) Today after work but before picking up the vacuum, I will purchase a sealant for the right angles in my room. Anything that could be a path to the outside world gets blocked.
8.) Tonight, Charlotte and I will be dropping off our laundry for professional cleaning to be picked up tomorrow, folded and Clean. We will then begin said thorough cleaning process while we drink beers, console each other, and curse the unholy beings that are bed bugs.
If anyone reading this has had this happen to them and can think of anything else I should do or anything I have overlooked, please tell me.
I want to crawl into a hole and cry myself to death. How did they get there? What have I done? Am I being punished? Tested? If I had a firstborn son, I would fear for his life. I can't tell you how awful this is. I want to set fire to my entire block and then pour acid on the ashes. I want to move to Alaska with nothing but the clothes on my back and never return. My sensei's wife was telling me about people that go crazy because of these things and develop permanent delusional parasitosis paired with extreme OCD. I can see it.
Disclaimer: Please, I don't want to talk about this. Feel free to leave helpful comments but unless you are my roommate or my neighbor I don't want to discuss this with you. It will only make me feel horrible and stressed out and I'm already doing everything I can think of and afford so I don't want this on my mind any more than it has to be. I am writing this entry as a plea for help and to outline my plan both for handy reference and for others who might be going through the same thing. I promise if you bring it up I will become irritable and unpleasant. Ok, disclaimer off.
This is now my mantra (from www.savejeffy.com):
For more helpful information and some refreshing wit, visit: Bedbugblog
